Holy War.
Their hands
on hearts and heads are bowed in prayer
Then
swords unsheath and raise in forward march
“We fight
to bring God’s light into their dark!”
The battle
cry, with confidence, declared.
This is
the story of the Great Crusades
Of
al-Gazawat and of Medina’s Siege
Of 80
years of war without reprieve
Of
Cromwell and relentless Irish raids.
The
Catholics had a holy mission- Truth.
The Heugenots must see their errant ways-
They
sacrificed at St. Bartholomew
And from
those dying lips they drew His Praise.
“I do God’s
work!” you cry, with eyes ablaze-
Who says the Lord’s at all conscious of you?
Who says the Lord’s at all conscious of you?
Despite not actually understanding a majority of the historical references, I enjoyed this poem. The meter was engaging as was the line structure. What I find most intriguing is the way in which you end off the poem. It goes from a third person recounting to a forceful dialogue with the author. The poem is set up to sound lofty and then completely challenged and questioned in the last 2 lines. I think this switch is extremely powerful and thought-provoking.
ReplyDeleteThis poem was really powerful. I thought it was very well written. Because there were so many historical references, I felt that they had to be written very poetically in order for them not to seem like a grueling history lesson. You did that for the most part. For example, "The Catholics had a holy mission- Truth." I really liked that line. Other than that, I thought this idea was very interesting, and I absolutely LOVE the last line of the poem. The focus all of a sudden shifts to a more personal one, and left me thinking about that question in itself. Really good job.
ReplyDeleteI am so intrigued by this poem. When I read the title, I initially thought it would be one of the Israeli wars, but I love that the subject is on a time period that we don't see much poetry about. The imagery really made me feel like I was out on the battlefield with the crusaders, further strengthening the poem. Great job!
ReplyDeleteThis is a very impressive poem to me for a number of reasons. First, it is a real sonnet, and anyone who reads and likes sonnet will respond to this. In particular, as I am sure Yael knows, this is a Petrarchan sonnet, and that makes sense, since the couplet at the end of the Shakespearean version would give this a sense of finality unbefitting the theme, since such wars go on even now in different disguises.
ReplyDeleteI want to be clear: I really like this poem, and I will be surprised if we receive sonnets better than this. It is really quite formally accomplished. It's rare that a student turns in a sonnet that is in proper meter on the first attempt.
I do think there are some small things to further consider. I thought the second line would be stronger if you made the swords the subject of the sentence and put it in present tense: "Then swords unsheath and raise in forward march"
Also, this line is a little awkward, but I don't know how to fix it right off the top of my head: "And from their dying lips they drew the Praise."
Finally, the last line perplexes me a bit. The final message seems to portray a distant God, unconcerned with the wars of man, even those waged in His name. That's certainly interesting, but it is a weaker response than I expected. It suggests a surprisingly non-judgmental metaphysics. I expected a God more angry that such carnage has been carried out in His name.
Again, though, impressive sonnet.
I loved workshopping this poem in class. I think the content here fits in perfectly with the rigidity of the sonnet structure. It worked nicely together. The way you infused historical allusions was done well. It was not over the head of the layreader. In addition tot he great content, the lines also sounded pretty, which is always nice. My only concern is the lack of attention paid to proper rhymes. I felt slighted a little.
ReplyDelete